PRO-CHOICE: A Concept for EVERYONE

In what must immediately be viewed as a transparent attempt to pander to those who would otherwise ignore my candidacy… I’ve decided to be known as the only true Pro-Choice candidate.

This may be a source of discomfort to some, but don't stop reading just yet. Historically I have always supported a woman’s right to choose what she does with her body, despite continued rumors to the contrary. Heck in virtually every case not documented by an arrest report I have complied (ok, sometimes grudgingly) with such choices, even when accompanied by some lame excuse like “I’m married”, “You’re married”, “We’re in McDonalds”, “You’re my uncle”, etc… Still, I can honestly say that despite whines that the Pro-Choice movement is fem-centric, men have always been at the very least a secondary beneficiary. The ever lessening incidence of wedding photos including a 12 gauge shotgun is an obvious indicator. Having researched the arguments surrounding the issue, there may be hope of making everyone happy here.

Now most arguments from “Pro-Choice” supporters involve emotional stories about preserving the mental health of a young girl in danger of having her life ruined as a result of rape or incest. How can you argue with that? Where is your compassion? 

Compelling as such anecdotal cases may be, recent studies indicate that statistically the following sinister methods of coercion are most commonly cited by girls seeking to “terminate a pregnancy” (a euphemism that quickly replaced “kill the sucker before it’s too late” as the term of choice).

CDC REPORT:  ABORTION

As you can see, we may be talking less about a woman’s right to a choice as much as her right to use lethal force to retroactively change one she made earlier. [All to preserve the mental health of the poor girl, who after all IS a victim.]

This concept not only has a great deal of popular support… but a while back some Supreme Court justices were busily dusting the Bill of Rights and discovered this very tenet wedged out of sight between a couple of other amendments. Yes there it was… a long-lost Right of the People that somehow got overlooked for almost 200 years. No telling what other good stuff they’ve been holding out on as a result of such poor record keeping.

Anyway, perhaps it is time to look at this in a positive fashion (ie – What’s in it for us?). Why should this right be limited to females? Is this discriminatory? Could we not use the same logic to extend this life-saving option to men who have made similarly distressing choices that may threaten their very future? 

I’m thinking legalized use of  lethal force could be extremely popular with men who, after a huge night, find themself, much to their innocent horror, unexpectedly waking up beside a singularly unattractive woman... or their wife’s tennis partner, or an alter-boy, the boss’s fiancé, or in an extreme case... all of the above. I ask you, why should this poor man suffer forever the effects of one decision? Have we no compassion? So vote for me. Together, we’ll make Choice a right for everyone. Guys, our time has come.

Rob Jones is a freelance egotist who publishes his half baked ideas in support of  Neo-Texan ideology, a philosophy you can't learn, unless born there, and is harder to un-learn. Responsible opposing viewpoints are welcome, but will probably just be ignored.