| TODAY'S
TOP STORY |
Duo
Hordes All the Mozzies!
Orlady and Chris2001 Prove Unstoppable!
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 MOZZIE
CENTRAL- With the exception of category specific awards, all but a
handful of Mozzies seemed to go to a pair of editors. At press time there
was talk of a possible recall, but there is considerable confusion among
backers over just what court has jurisdiction over a world-wide
cyber-society.
While Orlady and Chris refused interviews due to pending litigation,
rumors that next year they plan to make an assault on the ultimate
prize, Most Embarrassing Dmoz Moment, were neither confirmed nor
denied.
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 THOSE
WHO DIDN'T KILL SELVES WIN SPECIAL ACHIEVEMENT AWARD
MOZZIELAND-- By a landslide Dmoz editors voted a Special Achievement Mozzie to
all who stayed positive and didn't harm themselves or others during the rolling
server blackouts.
The results might have been skewed by a certain non-response bias on the part
of those who actually DID harm themselves, but then we're probably just being
pedantic because this paper came in second. :-p
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 KCTIPTON
wins Most Evil Meta
WEST TEXAS -- In other award news, KCTipton was voted the honorable title of
Most Evil Meta by an astounding 115% of the voters. Asked if the odd voting
return figure indicated foul play, he said, "Hey, this IS for the most
evil, right?"
|
 Sparks
Fly in "LUZER" Copyright
STAFF - After a 5th consecutive win for Biggest Luzer, Robjones shocked
staff by announcing that he had copyrighted the term after his 4th, and they now
owed him a settlement for using it in an election. Netscape lawyers verified the
fact, and are trying to arrange a settlement. When told Mr. Jones would drop the
suit if he was granted meta, staff reportedly said they'd rather just pay the
money.
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POINT / COUNTER-POINT
What makes Totalxsive so enthusiastic?
- By Jordancpeterson
Could we start serving decaffe in the commissary?
-
By Rwkat
GUEST ESSAY
I'm really MUCH more congenial than Albinfo. Say otherwise and you die.
- By Donaldb
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QUERY
of
the
day
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Is
it a coincidence the Most Embarrassing Editor works with the Biggest Luzer? |
| Seriously,
how DO you pronounce fertighausfachberater without spitting? |
| EDITOR
POLL
An editor "farking"
won Best Ed in a cat named World / Behasa_Melayu. Did somebody make all that
up to see if we were watching?
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STILL
MORE NEWS
Because the other side
of the page is long. |
DMOZ
Shocked as Editor Arrested
WORLD FRANCE- Before an international audience, authorities
pursued editor Foetusized in a high speed chase through several forums.
After nearly catching him in Ontology, authorities nabbed the fugitive
entering the World France Cafe.
Arrested on a record 1723 counts, the shadow of the indictment weighed
more than 4.5 pounds. Leading editors called it a "total
surprise", as they had no way of knowing what he'd been up to.
 ETOILE
Leaves for Hollywood
Hot on the heels of her "Cutest Editor" victory,
editor Etoile has been contacted by MGM to star in a remake of Pretty
Woman. "We thought the first version was ok, said the casting
director, but until we saw Etoile we didn't realize just how wrong Julia
Roberts was for the part. Honestly, isn't this just the cutest kid you've
seen?
 GLIPPITT
/ ONEEYE Split "Best Regional"
Editor's Glippitt and Oneeye split the coveted "Best
Regional" award, with Orlady graciously bowing into second. The pair
had little to say until a stunned Glippitt said, "Wait, I won this
AND Best Cat-Editor? Does this mean I might finally get Editall?"
FLORIDA DEMANDS
RECOUNT
On seeing the results of "Editor I'd Most Like to Meet in
Person", 15 Florida editors said they'd accidentally voted for
robjones because on their ballot it looked like it said
"Prison". "I saw staff say they read it that way too".
Asked if he would give up the award Jones said "Hey, I only GOT 15
votes, so one of 'em is lying since I voted for myself. Wait... you're
writing this down?"
GEORGDLG QUITS
AFTER LEARNING DEFINITION
In a move as predictable as the beatings after the North Koreans learned
about the "Hawaiian Good Luck symbol", editor Georgdlg left
after learning what Luzer really meant. "That's the last time I
listen to those guys" was typed in every cat he resigned. Staff is
said to be looking into just what he was told.
JCAND &
COSSACK SHARE "BEST BIZ"
Jcand & Cossack shared the business award, and amazingly the runner up
wasn't Orlady. Runner up Dlugan said he'd personally like to thank Orlady
for not taking it, and wondered aloud how she'd failed to get this one
too.
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STAFF FINDS ROOT OF SERVER ISSUES
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"Hey, it was a hell of a price" says Keating.
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"Stealth
Editors" merzliakov and giant2 surprised they were caught, vow to do
better
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2004 IS OURS!
Newwave & Thebrian plot winning "Cutest Couple "
Strategy
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Who REALLY won Mozzies?
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| Personal Of The Day |
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Nea and Jophan
No real reason for putting this here, but I needed something to fill the
space. I still liked the other one better. :-p
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