| TODAY'S
TOP STORY |
Probe
in Death of Server
Stray Cat Still Primary Suspect
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 MARYLAND
-- Police Chief Thomas Moose launched an inquiry into the death of the Open
Directory server. Staffer Autumn said it was
alive when she left, and "Skrenta" was supposed to be feeding it.
Skrenta is being sought for questioning and was last seen riding west on a
unicycle. Despite clear evidence to the contrary, Moose plans to search all
white vans in DC and hold daily press briefings. Full
Text > |
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EDITOR ON
THE STREET INTERVIEWS
What have you done while the server was down?
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BCwine
Thinks Cheerios Require a Red Wine
Mostly I've edited at Chefmoz. Speaking of editing, when's the last
time you tried that?
HEY! What's with this picture? You sorry @#$!
FTR - I do NOT have fur. |
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Deborahrosen
Thinks She Should'a Removed Thorns
OH NO! This is SO not right! You don't even know me and you give ME a
monkey picture?
What the hell did *I* do? Take it out on BC, not me! Geez!
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Mnirgr
Thinks of Himself as Much Taller
OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. That isn't even ME... It's bloody Kfander
when he was about 5!
If you're gonna post that I'm not answering. I oughta come kick your
butt. Hey BC! Road trip? |
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Katy1212 Thinks
She Looks Really Hot in Hat
Wait, is this about monkeys or the server now? Or pictures?
You're not writing yet are you? Can I start over? |
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Orlady
Thinks I'm Gonna REALLY Regret This Monkees?
Oh, they were great! I had a huge crush on Mickey, well... until he did
that to his hair. What was that all about? |
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Robowar
Thinks English Channel is a TV
Station
Sure, pick on me twice in a row.
In a few years I'll be 18 and 6'2" and you'll be an aging putz
with dreams of his youth. Then I'm coming to Texas. Muwahahaha! |
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STAFF NOTE: Saddam666
Removed for Threats
MID-EAST FORUM-- When he applied last month this editor showed vast knowledge
of the area. Unfortunately he acted like he owned the Region. His outlandish threats were
a hoot, but we still decided to preemptively remove him. Let this be a lesson.
- Rdkeating25
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Anyone Game
Deleted - Server Space Doubles
BUGS & FEATURES-- Dmoz IT Dept erased Anyone Game at the suggestion of his
big-brother Jim. This move prompted the departure of gamer Cwseddon, but there
were also negative effects. Removing such a large block required an immediate
defrag, but available space did improve dramatically. This will get
even better next month when the switch to small fonts takes effect.
|
 God
Rejected for R&S Category
HEAVEN- Today the Almighty applied for an upper level Religion &
Spirituality cat and received a
polite note explaining that until He established an
edit record He should content himself with something a bit simpler. The Creator
of All Things was reportedly in an ill-humor for the rest of the day, and
mumbled things we hope he didn't mean.
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Romanian Editor Recovering from Injuries
LUBBOCK TX-- Before his US visit, Vladd watched dozens of American movies so
he'd "fit right in at the bars". Though going to Texas, he watched movies
from San Francisco. Doctors say the pool-cue came out, but the boot prints
may not heal before he's ready to travel.
POINT / COUNTER-POINT
You don't even debate... you just contradict everything I say! - By
Arlarson
No I don't. -
By Robjones
GUEST ESSAY
Why are these newsletters so
damned stupid?
- By Jpanning
(who signed it "tuisp" but we traced the email)
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ADD YOUR VOTE
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APPOINTING
METAS BY LOTTERY |
| SHOULD
XRYSOSTOM GET A REAL NAME? |
| A
LIZARD?! THAT'S THE BEST WE CAN DO? |
META AFFLICTED WITH BOILS AND FROGS
META FORUM— Kctipton informed us that someone needs to finish the applications in the Religion and Spirituality cat since he seems
to be afflicted with a terrible case of Boils. He also said something about
frogs(?), but we figured he'd just been into the sauce.
MS ANNOUNCES GROUND-BREAKING PRODUCT
REDMUND -- Microsoft Corp HQ announced they have come out
with a new Windows that "doesn't suck as much as the other versions" according to the company spokesman, who sent us an email
from a vintage Macintosh on which he insists on doing all his work.
METAS DEMOTE STAFF
META FORUM -- The metas announced staff has been taken out of the
loop on the decision of meta privileges. In a landmark decision, staff was told
they would be "removed from the directory" if they interfered further.
Rumor has it this has been brewing since staff failed to avoid the sale to AOL.
RELIGI-MOZ REPORTS FAST START
SPIN-OFF DEPT -- Encouraged by spin-offs K&T and Chefmoz... Religi-Moz
began collecting sites acceptable to members of all faiths yesterday at 2PM EST.
They completed the task at 4:23, but there is on-going debate about whether
one of the four sites qualifies.
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