| TODAY'S
TOP STORY |
Replacement Server Arrives!
"Light-years ahead of what we
had" says Autumn
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 MARYLAND
-- Dmoz is pleased to announce the replacement server is up and running...
well, moving at least. The replacement "may not be bleeding edge, but
we think it will do the job" said Robert Keating, who looked
surprisingly fit despite having died last week. Staff has asked that editors
please work slowly until Autumn gets the hang of changing URLs with the new
plug-&-socket technology. |
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EDITOR ON
THE STREET INTERVIEWS
Do you have a favorite cartoon character?
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TWEETY
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Jeanmanco Wrote
a book. Colors in it daily.
I'm a big fan of Tweety Bird. Never rude, never angry...
still always comes out ahead.
The world needs more Tweeties.
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FELIX THE CAT
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RPFuller
Talks to cartoon characters No
contest. Felix the Cat rocks! I'd love to have his bag of tricks, it's the
ultimate in cool-tools. I still know the song, too.
*Eh Hem*
"Feeee-lix the cat! The wonderful wonderful cat...."
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FOGHORN LEGHORN
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Artisan Secretly
longs to bear YK's love child
I like Foghorn Leghorn.
No, I don't want to tell you why. It's kind of personal. ;-)
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DAFFY DUCK
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Donwiebe Edits
in his sleep, which explains a lot
I
don't watch much TV. Guess I like Daffy Duck, but no particular reason, I
just think he's funny. You're way too into this. Have you thought of seeing a shrink?
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ROBOWAR
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Yosemite Sam Actual
Cartoon Character I'm a fan of Editor Robowar. I mean, he makes me
look calm, ya know? Reminds me of me. Real rootin-tootin kinda
guy. In my own defense, cartoons can't take Prozac.
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JESSICA RABBIT
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Robjones Thinks
Ketchup Counts as a Vegetable
I have a fantasy about meeting Jessica Rabbit. Or her sister. Or just to go through her lingerie drawer when Roger isn't home.
Note:
Don't forget to remove this one before publication. |
|
 |
 Editor Hosts Cookout
REGIONAL-TEXAS-- Speaking from the emergency room at Mercy General Hospital, Editor Lisahinely
said next year's "Texas-Ed Beer-Bust & Bar-B-Q" will be at someone
else's house... "and under no circumstance will Bldarter be allowed near
the grill".
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Ambivalenthysteria to
Replace Rumsfeld 
THE WHITE HOUSE-- In an attempt to mollify his most vocal opposition, Pres Bush
said he's
replacing the acerbic Defense Secretary with a high school
student.
Rumsfeld said this raised constitutional issues, "not the least
being she's underage, isn't a citizen, and lives in Australia". At the
mention of the constitution, Bush and Attorney Gen Ashcroft exchanged grins then burst into laughter.
|
 UK
Get-together Just Silly
UK FORUM - Five UK editors and a one US visitor had a costume bash last
week. Consensus is the Yank won't be invited again, largely because his haircut
was "embarrassing even by typical UK standards".
STAFF APOLOGY:
Saddam777 Reinstated
WORLD FORUM-- Staff wishes to apologize to editor Saddam777 for the
recent gaffe. We assumed you were a re-tread of ex-ed Saddam666, but turns out your IP address is in Syria whereas his was in
Iraq.
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POINT / COUNTER-POINT
My escape from a haze of drugs and alcohol.
- By Kfander
Better living through modern
chemistry.
-
By Bettysue
GUEST ESSAY
[ on second thought I deleted this essay ]
- By Cujo
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ADD YOUR VOTE
|
EDITOR
MUD-WRESTLING |
| RENAME
REGIONAL / BANANA_REPUBLICS ? |
| GINGER
or MARYANNE ? |
STAFF ANNOUNCES NEW TOP CATEGORY
World — Staff is pleased to welcome a new category: World/Redneck.
Departing from tradition, prospective editors must meet strict requirements,
including proof of residency in a
Southern state and a picture of the truck on blocks in your front yard. Special
thanks to Netjim for seeding the cat with his vast bookmark collection of sites
about mobile homes, deer rifles, grits and catfish.
FIVE ARRESTED IN ADULT FORUM RAID
ADULT FORUM -- Police detained five editors in a raid aimed at cracking down
on nude forum participation. Police expected more, but believe
someone tipped off the crowd, which largely escaped via a server backdoor. Names of those arrested
were withheld.
HIGH COURT PASSES ON SMITH v CHEFMOZ
WASHINGTON DC -- The Supreme Court decided it would not hear the suit
against Chefmoz, allowing the lower court finding against Chefmoz to stand.
Plaintiff's attorney R Larsony called this "a victory for everyone that's
had a burger that didn't live up to its rating".
PURISTS HAIL K&T VOTE TO EJECT "OLD GUYS"
K&T FORUM -- In keeping with the literal guideline interpretation craze,
the editors of the K&T Directory voted to remove every editor age 20 or older. Their "Hey,
read the name!" slogan was self-explanatory.
ACCUSED OF HAVING LIFE
GENERAL FORUM - Editor Dargo21 was accosted by a host of editors after
several noticed a recent lack of editing and poor attendance in #ODP Chat. Charges were dropped
when it turned out Dargo had been "forced to go on vacation by my crummy
parents."
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