| TODAY'S
TOP STORY |
Democrats
Flee Texas for Oklahoma
Average IQ simultaneously rises in both
states
|
 ARDMOORE
OK- Texas Democratic legislators applied for political asylum in Oklahoma,
creating a serious economic hardship for Austin TX wine stores and brothels.
An anonymous Democrat said it "takes courage to run like a scalded
dog, but it was worth it to avoid unnecessary GOP
legislation"... "since we already
gerrymandered those districts". The move prompted the Oklahoma house to consider a bill
to tighten immigration and to remove the "Welcome" mat.
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 Dmoz
Hires IT Consultant
BUGS&FEATURES-- After the recent excitement with the server installation,
Dmoz staff decided to bring in expert help to assist in their new "zero
defects" efficiency program. The consulting firm of "Mickey, Goofy and
Associates" is sending their top man to make sure all goes well. This is
said to have proven unpopular with the existing IT staff, who was promptly sent
to his room without dinner.
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|
 Mozzies
are on the way!
PENGUIN FORUM -- It's almost time for Mozzies! Time to bump that dusty thread
nobody's touched in 4 months, suck up to somebody who might nominate you for
something... maybe even remove "and much much more" from the six sites
you clicked-in last week. Don't forget to be kind in the forums!
|
 Illiterates
Protest TDE
The Daily Editor HQ -
Speaking from the opulent international headquarters of The Daily Editor in
beautiful Keller Texas... the publisher indicated that illiterates continue to
protest outside. "I'm not sure what they're pissed off about. Damn sure
can't tell from their signs."
|
POINT / COUNTER-POINT
Becoming a Meta has enriched my life.
- By Mcoupal
Please God, get me out of this
looney-bin.
-
By Bldarter
GUEST ESSAY
Wrong answer.
- By Rich Skrenta
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ADD YOUR VOTE
|
PETITION
TO STOCK "THE BAR" |
AUSTRIA
/ AUSTRALIA CONFUSES PEOPLE.
WHY CAN'T WE RENAME ONE ? |
| MAKE
HUTCHESON OFFICIAL POET-LAUREATE |
| |
YOUR
DAILY DMOZ HOROSCOPE
By "Mozzie the Magnificent"
No relation to Merlin1 |
ARIES
You will make a SERIOUS error with a power-edit tool. This would be a really
good day to lay low.
TAURUS
You will find fulfillment grazing in greens.
GEMINI
All your forum posts will be duplicated.
CANCER
A very large lizard will stomp on your categories.
LEO
Good things come to you if you spin around three times, saying "I'm a
monkey, I'm a tree." OK, maybe not.
VIRGO
Don't edit in Adult/ when the boss is looking.
LIBRA
Don't even think about requesting a new cat today.
SCORPIO
Avoid buying a used car from a man wearing a skirt.
SAGITTARIUS
Your computer will malfunction in spectacular fashion. When the smoke clears,
walk toward the light.
CAPRICORN
Watch out for hijacked domains.
AQUARIUS
A manual cat-move gives you time for other activities.
PISCES
When you post in the fora, nobody takes you seriously.
If today is your birthday...
You should have something better to do than this today. For God's sake... Get
a life!
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| IN
OTHER NEWS |
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MOVE OVER KIDS!
|
"Youngest editor" contest attracting
fresh faces to ODP. Dmoz implements mandatory naps before posting.
|
NC Get-Together at
Chefrick's Farm
Asked how they'd know which street his farm was on... Rick just said
"You'll know".
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SELF-COOLING PENALTY ENHANCED
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| ODP HACKED AGAIN ! Staff says please be
sure to change your password immediately. |
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| EDITOR SADDAM777 denies using weapons
of mass-destruction on Regional / Kuwait cat |
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| Personal Of The Day |
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