| TODAY'S
TOP STORY |
"Joker"
May Have Infiltrated US !
Military says NY Times story
"unfounded"
|
 THE
PENTAGON-
Pentagon spokesperson Cary Whatsername, wearing her characteristic tough
look and bad dress, denied as "totally unfounded" the story that
the Iraqi insider featured as the Joker on the military's now famous
terrorist card deck may have entered the US posing as a student. "This
is just another blatant attempt by left-wing journalists to discredit
administration policy" she added.
|
|
How has
ODP affected your life?
A few
outside the editing community share their feelings about how our work
enriches theirs.
|
|
Osama bin Laden
Al Qaida Network Inc.
As a CEO I have to watch the budget. Just last week
I had to lay off 3 members of Parliament due to the economy. Your
directory adds value to our training program. The weapons cat is most
helpful.
|
|
John Ashcroft
U.S. Attorney General
The net's a great data source. BTW, you sure have
strange surfing habits. What's this thing with you & Jessica
Rabbit?
|
|
Funny Cide
Winner of Kentucky Derby
Hey. I won. Get over it. You guys spread that goofy
photo like it meant something. Don't you have anything better to do?
|
|
Winston Churchill
Former Prime Minister
I'd probably find it more useful if I hadn't been
dead for 50 years. Hey, do you have a cigar? Can you believe it... Heaven
is non-smoking ! Damned liberals.
|
|
Elvis Presley
Retired King of Rock and Roll
I use your music cats to keep up with old friends.
Can't go out much when you're living incognito. ODP rocks baby.
|
|
Pope John Paul
God's Emissary
I like the directory fine.. but you personally
really piss me off. Hey, Natalie looks pretty hot from this angle!
|
|
Natalie Maines
Singing Texan
ODP's OK, but now I'm ashamed to admit that the guy
writing THIS is from Texas. Hey, can that fella really see anything
from up there?
|
|
Ronald Reagan
Former President - Honorary Texan
Open Directory? I really don't recall.
|
|
Zonker
Stoned since Nixon Administration
I have to keep up with current events. Your
news cat is cool, and the cartoon cat, well, you guys do awesome work.
Keep it up!
[Psst! Don't tell Ashcroft I'm down here.]
|
|
 |
SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA FORMS
OWN STATE
REGIONAL / NA/ US-- In a move those closest have expected for years, southern
California finally broke ranks with the state, citing "irreconcilable
differences". Northern California said it is "confused but trying to
understand", but regardless still loves southern California and hopes the
new republic will consider counseling.
|
|
 Mozzie
Busted in Scam
HENDERSON CA -- Feds report 13 arrests in the Nigerian Email scam, including the
well known Dmoz mascot. Mozzie could not be reached for comment, but Dmoz
attorney Johnny Cochran said this is "clear-cut discrimination as a result
of skin-color", and he will prove the $2.4 Million cash was an endorsement
fee from a part-time gig with Geico.
|
 Oldest
Editor Contest Cancelled
STAFF - After sending flowers to the 16th editor to get a hip replacement this
week alone, staff announced the cancellation of the "Oldest Editor"
contest. They also said that the 110 year old editor referred by Mngolden was disqualified on grounds of "Geez...
He's been dead 3 years you moron!".
|
POINT / COUNTER-POINT
Real Estate sites are a piece of cake to edit.
- By Southernbelle
Why don't these idiots know
where to submit? Don't they know where their own office is?!
-
By Joe33
GUEST ESSAY
Do JCP's breasts look really hot to you too?
- By Totalxsive
|
ADD YOUR VOTE
|
RE:
Your Computer Problem - Who fucking cares? |
| Does
this dress make my butt look big ? |
EDITOR
POLL:
What's your MasterCard number and expiration ? |
| |
LITERARY
CORNER
Bringing you the best in literature
|
Today's Selection:
This one is an Editors Pick... in fact, if it were a website I'd cool it. Brings you the kind of hands-on (figuratively speaking) information
for which the author is known.
Stay tuned for his next book, due out in fall... the Complete Idiots Guide to
Working with Complete Idiots.
|
|
|
"EXOTIC ISLAND" VACATION TAKES TURN FOR WORST
|
|
"Next time we just go to Euro-Disney..." says
Editor Cmic
|
|
|
E-MALE
ERROR
Jordancpeterson said he had hoped to "keep her happy for hours"
like the ad said, but despite the amazing screw up he is "overall very pleased" with
his new breasts.
|
|
| NETSCAPE ANNOUNCES results on new browser.
Both remaining users prefer it to Explorer |
|
|
If you had bought an ad, we'd be reading it now...
but NO, you had to have a BOAT !
|
| Personal Of The Day |
|
|
|
